A Sober Challenge….Cheers !
You might wonder what dabbling in sobriety has to do with the entrepreneurial rollercoaster, or maybe it is self-evident. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the last person to run away from a good time. I fucking love a party, wine tasting, dancing at a dive bar (or anywhere really). By the way, the more I imbibe, the more fantastic I become. Seriously, Dancing with the Stars talent here. There is no way, however, that I could continue to get my drink on and work the hours required to grow a successful start-up.
The Epiphany….
Anywho, in early fall of 2022, someone very close to me became sober. And because I am a veracious reader, I read anything I could on this topic to better understand what he was going through. I read some fabulous books that I will list at the bottom if anyone is curious.
I, of course, kept on partying. It was only after several months of nightly anxiety attacks, one hideously debilitating four-day hangover, and reading some hilarious and truly enlightening books on the sober life, that I said, “Fuck this shit.”
I had been searching for a challenge, one to ring in the New Year. With three jobs and seven-day work weeks, there was no time for a physical challenge that would require hours of training such as a marathon. Plus, to be honest, I did not have the motivation required for this anyway.
No one is trying to convince you….
It was about this time that I came across the 100 day sober challenge. ONE HUNDRED DAYS. No drinking. This would prove to be more difficult than the marathon I had previously run BY FAR.
First, let me say that this is NOT a blog preaching abstinence. I still drink, don’t get me wrong. This was more about changing a mindset that I hadn’t fully realized had formed. Also, a little about time management.
As I started to work crazy long hours and no longer had weekends, I naturally cut back out of pure necessity. Time was limited and I definitely was not in a position to spend a day hungover on the couch. But quitting all together hit differently. I was drinking about 3 glasses of wine a night. On the weekends after work I would have margaritas, nothing crazy, I did have to work the next day after all. I deserved these drinks. They were the only thing I looked forward to at the end of the day and the only way to relieve the stress I was feeling.
So this was the challenge I chose. Something to focus on outside of our stressful situation. Something for just me.
Diving In…
The first two weeks fucking sucked, I am not gonna lie. All I could think about was NOT drinking. It did not help that I started on December 26th. So, ya know, New Year’s Eve and all. I did have to work both NYE and NYD, so that helped a bit, but damn, I really wanted my “shifty” (the drink we get after closing). My mindset of ending the day with my well-deserved treat had to change and did not do so overnight.
To this end, I have tried almost every “mocktail” in existence, and there are a few pretty good ones! More and more are introduced to the market all of the time, giving one a copious amount of options, adding excitement and creativity to your boring soda water and lime.
The Difference……
The following two weeks were better. I was feeling brighter and had more energy. Here, however, is where the 100 Day Challenge differs from Dry January and Sober October: that second month is truly when the magic happens. This is the month when your sleep is phenomenal. My anxiety attacks were pretty much gone completely! I had days where I was simply elated FOR NO REASON. Just happy to be alive. I felt I could run a marathon! My eyes were bright and my skin clear! The eight pounds I had gained during our move were just naturally melting away! The second month is when shit starts to get really good. If you only take 30 days, you are not giving yourself this opportunity. I highly suggest going for at least the second month, why the fuck not? You’ve already come this far!
And then, we lost our Hags….
All-in-all, I made it 120 days. By the third and fourth months, my habit of having a cocktail or wine at night was broken. My cravings were gone. I felt like I could overcome any obstacle. Bring it on! And the Universe did.
One Saturday morning, while I was Peleton-ing away, Haggard (our beloved ranch yorkie) was being attacked by a coyote on the other side of the garage door. I did not hear a thing. He was still alive when Ryan got to him, but died in his arms. We were devastated.
We wrapped him in a blanket and buried him underneath a tree in our yard. Ryan carved a headstone out of wood and carved his name in a tree stump where we sit from time to time. I attempted to go to work, but the owner of the restaurant took one look at me and sent me home.
This was the dog that had been with us through everything. My daughter bought him when she was 9. Hags was there when we had to put our first dog down, he was with us through our move. He was there when we became empty-nesters. The pain was excruciating. In an attempt to feel a little better, we went to our favorite Mexican place for lunch. And there it was, my favorite margi, appropriately named The Carrie. By that point, it had been 120 days of no alcohol. At the 100 day mark, I figured it would have to be a pretty big event to get me to break my streak. I wasn’t going to break it over a simple “shifty.”
The End of my Streak…
Well, this was it. This was the event. I ordered that margi, my favorite bartender made it just right, and it was fucking delicious. We toasted to our Hags. Here is where the change had taken place over those last 120 days. Y’all, I was done after the ONE. Yep, totally satisfied and not needing or wanting another. The me of 121 days prior would have not only ordered another, but continued on to my favorite dive bar and drink away the rest of the day, figuring I deserved it because my dog died. I would have then felt like absolute dog-squeeze the next day by adding a tremendous hangover to my grief.
The Change…
This is where the 100 day challenge came into play, and still is over a year later. I no longer live my days dreaming about the cocktail or glass of wine at the end. When I go out to lunch or happy hour, I am satisfied with one cocktail, and I drink it slowly. It is rare I drink during the week, because I have lost that craving. I am up at 5am and am incredibly productive. I am happier and healthier.
Again, this is not an attempt to convince you to quit drinking. This is simply my story and an idea for a challenge if you happen to be in the market for one. It isn’t easy, but it is probably the only challenge I’ve taken on in my life that has continued to have an affect long after it’s completion. What do you have to lose?
As promised… here are a couple of the books I read:
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray-this is the one I read several times. She is fucking hilarious and her story is wild. Not at all preachy. Loved it.
Sober Curious by Ruby Harrington- a little preachy, but is where I discovered the 100 Day Challenge
The Sober Lush by Amanda Eyre Ward and Jardine Libaire- making the sober life fun and exciting 🙂