I love the f-bomb. I use it as an adjective, verb, and noun. I grew up in a pretty strict Catholic household. I never once heard my parents use such vulgar profanity. In fact, my Dad heard me use it once while on the phone with my friend in high school and threatened to ground me for a month. So maybe, subconsciously, I feel some sort of teenage rebellion while freely throwing the obscenity about. Does my sailor- mouth make me trashy? Maybe. But I don’t give a flying fuck. See? It’s awesome. Let’s go over some of my favorite forms of this four-letter gem, shall we?

WTF…

WTF stands for What The Fuck? (For those of you living under a rock.) It is particularly relevant while on this Entrepreneurial roller coaster ride. You (being the manufacturer) only made HALF of the order and NOW you are on holiday? For a month? WTF???? You are shutting down for Covid AGAIN? WTF??? We are not getting paid AGAIN due to no inventory and therefor low sales? WTF??? Your (now being the CEO) business partner has been plotting to take your job and the company over for months?? WTF???? I could go on and on…

Fuckety-Fuck…

This one is probably my favorite. And mostly, is just emphasizes WTF. I first heard this from my neighbor and it made me chuckle. I found it a little too easy to slip into my everyday verbage and I have to pay attention now when I use it so I don’t wear it out. What the fuckety-fuck does this guy want now? (speaking of the customer that can’t get their shit together on their order). An exclamation: Fuckety Fuck! I made the wrong f-ing drink, and there is a line out the door. How the fuckety-fuck do you expect me to (fill in the blank)….

Fuckwit…

Self-explanatory, unless, of course you are a fuckwit. Fuckwit refers to all of the imbeciles we interact with on a daily basis. Believe me, working as a bartender and waitress, I came across plenty. Like the Fuckwit that cannot come to the conclusion on their own that the restaurant is closed. He/she comes in, lights are dim, all chairs up on the tables, I am mopping the floor, and inevitably will ask, “Are you open?” Yes, yes sir we are. Please feel free to hop up on the table and perch yourself on an upside-down chair leg. Sit and spin baby.

Fuckstick…

I typically use this one in frustration or anger towards the offending person. To the guy cutting me off on the highway while I’m hauling a trailer full of horses…FUCKSTICK! To the woman who changes her order THREE TIMES when we bring her food, insisting the order was wrong each time…FUCKSTICK! To the person trying to take our company over…FUCKSTICK! Fuckstick can cover all kinds of assholes! It’s like a chameleon.

Parenting and the F-Bomb

Look, you all know I am a Mom, first and foremost in my life, that’s my proudest achievement. And while I absolutely love a good F-bomb, you have to know when to use it. When my kids were little, we watched our language due to the fact that when our son was 18 months old, he dropped a toy in front of some dinner guests and apply exclaimed, “Fuck!” Not our finest parenting moment. Our guests thought it was hilarious, I wanted to hide in a closet.

As they grew into teenagers and it was so cool to use any cuss word they could fathom, I had a talk with them. I told them that you have to learn to read the room. If you are with your friends, and they are all cussing and thinking it’s great, you do what you feel, but at this age you have not had the experience to read the situation, and frankly it is not a good look. As an adult, I carefully feel out a situation before throwing out profanity. If I am in a business setting, for instance, I am not going to pepper the conversation with F-Bombs. I will politely wait for someone else to throw the first bomb. Same with meeting new people or if inappropriate for the environment. This takes a little more life experience.

At the end of the day, if the worst thing my kids do is throw out an ill-timed cuss-word, I consider my parenting a win.

Your Favorite F-Bomb Expression…

I would absolutely love to hear your favorite F-Bomb terminology. I would give me great delight to throw out some new phrases! This Entrepreneurial chapter of life certainly calls for it.