In The Beginning….

When I first had the WTF moment of, basically, we were going to have to move. AGAIN. I knew we were going to have to make some drastic changes to prevent such a horrific event from occurring ( moving is simply pure hell, one should avoid it at all costs). Unless you are some kind of sadist who enjoys moving and does it periodically. I know a few of you and pray for you often. But I digress. In the beginning I was full of energy, the I-can-take-anything-you-throw-at-me attitude. The type of ignorant bullshit where the challenge actually makes you feel alive. WE WILL OVERCOME!! We have time, I told myself. (I do realize all of you financially savvy peeps are rolling your eyes.)

The Challenge…

Any who, my son was returning to college and leaving his summer job at a local bar/restaurant. The owners were desperate for employees (as most businesses are these days). So I reached out to the owners to take my son’s place. I needed to find something quickly. Time did not allow for starting a new career or returning to school to learn a new profession. My degree is in teaching. My son made more money monthly that summer than I did when I was teaching elementary school. (I’ll spare you my feelings on that one, but I’m sure you can imagine how I feel about it.) Besides, this will be fun! I will learn to bartend, I will get to be with people and feel like I’m not missing out! No FOMO for me!

Back then I had stumbled upon an Instagram post, and please forgive me if this was yours, I can’t for the life of me remember whose it was. But it went something like this: “Are you willing to live for one year like 99% of people won’t for a life that only 1% of people have?” My answer was a resounding YES! But, I only need to give up on any kind of life for 6 months. I can definitely do this for 6 months ( the Universe laughs maniacally and says, “Hold my beer.”). And with that, I began my new life of working 40-45 hours per week at the restaurant, cleaning and managing our two Airbnb’s, and fielding all of the customer service emails for the company.

One Year Later…..

YES, ONE YEAR of giving up all weekends, every holiday except for Christmas Day, giving up all horse shows and barrel races (and even my sweet horse Kat, more on that later). One year of working 7 days a week and feeling exhausted so that my husband could continue to grow his business without getting paid. When I was not working in some capacity, which was extremely rare, the Boa Constrictor scarf would creep back up my neck reminding me that I did not deserve to rest. Must. Work. Am I resentful at times? You bet your ass I am. Do I experience crippling FOMO? Hell yes. Do I cry? Sometimes. But you know what? I’ve made it way passed the 6 month goal and guess what??? I DID NOT DIE!

What I Gained…..

What I did do was learn that I am so much stronger than I ever imagined. I can adapt to challenging life changes. My true friends remained and met me for lunches once a week to keep me in the loop. I learned that I am an early riser and an introvert at heart. I learned to become sober-curious, mostly out of necessity, but I am truly embracing this new way of drinking (or lack there of.) I have learned invaluable lessons from the people I work with at the restaurant (more on that later) and I am forever grateful that I met each one. And I am fucking proud of myself for having almost every aspect (except workouts, thank god for Peleton!) of myself as I’ve known her for the past 20 years stripped away and learning to become an entirely new Carrie (though what choice did I really have?).

And so it continues….