The Offending Turd…

It’s interesting how something as mundane and annoying as Hags (short for Haggard), our yorkie, shitting on the carpet can set into motion a sequence of events that actually leave me feeling lighter and, in fact, more energetic. I was fucking exhausted. I had worked 13 hours on my feet the day before and had 10 minutes before heading back to the restaurant. All I wanted was to sit for 10 freaking minutes. That’s all. So when I looked up and saw that turd staring right back at me, it was if the Universe ( with its deep maniacal Vincent Price cackle) was attempting to bring me to my breaking point. Y’all, I wanted to cry. I came pretty damn close to it. Especially, because picking up the turd meant throwing it away (obviously). And throwing it away now meant I had to take out the trash., which I had been procrastinating on doing.

Now, follow me here. We live on 5 acres and our trash dumpster is at the opposite end of our property. To get to it, I must pass the AirBnB, and to my delight, the trash there had been knocked over and an animal of some kind had subsequently torn it apart and SPREAD IT ALL OVER. I could kiss any chance of rest goodbye.

I Had a Choice…..

At this point, I was going to either bawl or laugh hysterically. And I chose to laugh. As I was laughing like an insane person, (I picture the scene in Bridesmaids when Kristin Wiig discovers that Maya Rudolph is engaged) I began to imagine how this might appear to any person who might be walking by. Here I am in my work uniform, picking up trash strewn all over the place, hyena-howling. And you know what?? I felt better. That turd forced me to get up and deal with our trash, the mess at the AirBnB, and I even did our dishes! And while these things are not revolutionary actions, they were chores I was going to have to deal with after my long day. Instead, i just DID them. Like a GROWN UP. These actions, along with a little fresh air, left me feeling a little happier and lighter and not begrudging the fact that I had to spend my last minutes before work dealing with shit. Literally.

An Epiphany….

Which brings me to my epiphany. If, on a very small cosmic level, Hags’ shit forced the events that would eventually improve my disposition before work, happenings that may seem otherwise annoying or even hurtful, could in fact set off a chain of events that lead to the betterment of self and circumstance! What if my resentment over Ryan going skiing while I’m at home working is the Universe’s way to force me to face my resentment for what it is? My choice. What if I stopped trying to control other people’s actions and feeling angry, disappointed, and resentful when they don’t do what I think they should? What if, for the first time in my life, I set boundaries? What if I take one day “off” per week? Yes, I have to earn as much as I am able presently, but also leave something for me? What if I stop people pleasing? I can still operate with grace and guard my own happiness. Maybe this is the beginning of the new me. Or the old/true me is finally shining through. So the next time you are faced with a turd staring back at you when you are on the brink of a break down, deal with it. See what happens!

And it all started with one dog shit.