Say Cheese!

One of the perks (word used loosely here) in the life of the wife on an entrepreneur is at any moment, you will be asked (rhetorically of course), if you would please “try this.” Now, it will depend on the type of product your partner’s business is manufacturing as to specifically what “try this” will entail. For me, it means to put on an item to see how it fits or sit for an unknown period of time to test how long a particular device lasts or if instead, it will explode. Are the pockets where they should be? Is the waist tie in correct placement for one’s hips? Is it too long or too short? And then come the wash and wear questions. Can you wash this right now? How did it wash? Did the drying process change the shape or size? For the battery-operated device: Will the heating element cause the battery to explode? (True story guys…I came home to three grown men standing out by out fire pit watching with bated breath to see if it would catch fire and explode ). Will it catch on fire and burn down the house? Will the handle heat up to 1 million degrees and burn the hell out of my hand? How long will the battery last? Sit here please so I can test the heat longevity. And it goes on and on…

Never Camera Ready….

Never does this EVER happen at a convenient time. I am almost always running out the door, stepping out of the shower, on my way to shovel shit. It really doesn’t matter, the point is I have to drop everything and try on whatever is the next product because we have to order like 50,000 NOW. Or I have to stop, sit to have my hair dried or walk around the house using the product for a “quick” video for a meeting/presentation happening in minutes. And by the way, PHOTOS/VIDEOS taken are sent out to god-knows-who. Ok y’all, now due to the last-minute urgency of said photos, I can say with certainty that I am NOT remotely camera-ready. Not by a long shot. In ANY of them. There are some people out there who are in possession of some terribly rank photos of me.

Not Ready for Prime Time….

Now look, I am not an overly vain person, but I would like to look somewhat presentable. Usually these “photo shoots” involve some sort of t-shirt and jeans under a towel/robe/spa wrap OR Ryan chasing me around the house with a blow dryer while I am doing laundry/dishes/picking crap up. No make-up, no warning. Good thing I will NEVER run for office.

I suppose it could be worse. Those of you who’s partners are developing cosmetics or face creams might have to walk around with hives or your eyes swollen shut or a break out that would rival any teenager with cystic acne. Or maybe your entrepreneurial partner has come up with some sort of functional wear (overalls). I definitely feel for you. You are my hero.

I would just like to know where the hell all of these photos go and to whom I need to send a Glamour shot. That’s all.