The Public in General….

This post is not specific to the entrepreneurship experience per se, but to anyone who has ever dealt with the general public in the service industry, or really any industry for that matter. As part of the three jobs I have had to maintain this past year, dealing with the general public is a daily occurrence. An almost unrealistic level of patience must be maintained. I mean, to the point where one must leave their body and try to deal with the situation at hand from outside the experience. Here are some examples of the level of stupidity we deal with on a daily basis….

The Front Door….

Yes, even the front door can be a challenge for the typical customer walking off the street. We have a double door, and due to the wind blowing leaves and dirt into the restaurant, we leave the right side closed and locked. To inform the person attempting to enter the restaurant of the correct side to pull open, a sign is displayed on the right side of the door with an arrow pointing to the left side saying, “Please use other door.” I shit you not, time and time again people ask WHERE THE OTHER DOOR IS. Or better yet, they will walk around the building searching for the elusive “Other Door.” I like to watch and laugh…I need some entertainment during my day after all.

When is the Barbecue?

One of the most popular items on our menu is a tri-tip sandwich. We smoke it outside of the restaurant on a huge smoker with Santa Ynez Redwood and it is fucking delicious. Part of the beauty of the smoker is that customers can smell it for miles. It serves as a kind of homing device that draws people from near and far to the smokey billows coming out the top.

This was going on outside one day when a gentleman entered the restaurant and walked up to the front, demanding to know when the barbecue was happening. My coworker explained that we smoke the tri tip in vast amounts, then bring it into the kitchen where it rests and is sliced for the sandwiches. “When is the barbecue?” The man repeated. “There is no set time sir, you can order the sandwich now.” “So are you barbecuing tonight?” he asks. “No sir,” my coworker replies, “we are smoking it now for the sandwiches to be made tonight or tomorrow.” “But when will you barbecue again?” he continues. “When we run out of the tri tip for sandwiches, we will put more on the smoker.” She is starting to lose her patience and I am amused. “But what days do you barbecue?” (Ok, by now I am doing everything I can not to burst out loud screaming..I AM SORRY, WE CAN’T HELP YOU, YOU ARE TOO STUPID.) Although, I do have to admit that watching my coworker try to keep her cool was in and of itself extremely humorous. “Sir, we don’t have a set barbecue schedule,” it was truly impressive the amount of patience she was displaying. “So will you barbecue again tonight?” he asks.

That was it, I had to leave. I ran into the back, nearly peeing my pants. Here’s your sign sir… (if you know you know.)

The Three Items…

Like many businesses post-pandemic, employees have been challenging to find and even more difficult to keep, thus leaving the restaurant short-staffed from time to time. During these periods we use a “modified” menu to ensure customers get their food in a timely manner. It was during one of these short-staffed Saturdays that I was the victim of this exchange with a less-than-astute customer.

“So, is this the menu for today?” he was pointing to the chalk board listing the items available that evening. “Yes sir, we are a little short-staffed in the kitchen tonight, so we had to modify the menu a bit.” “Ok, I’ll have the burger and fries.” (Fries are NOT on the menu as there was no one available to man the fryer.) “I am sorry sir, but fries are not available at the moment, but I am happy to get you the burger.” “Ok, I’ll have the onion rings then.” (Again, NOT ON THE MENU.) ” So sorry, but presently there is no one to work the fryer, so the only available items are here on the menu.” He continues, “So, these are the only things available right now?” (NOW he’s getting it!) “Yes sir, that is it for now.” He stares back at me blinking. “So there are no fries or onion rings?” He is now on his tip-toes attempting to look into the kitchen as if I am lying to him about fries and onion rings. Yes, sir, it is my life’s mission to keep you from ordering any of our fried delights.

We are Closed…..

I mentioned this one in a previous blog, but it happens almost on a daily basis and therefor is worth bringing up again. It is fucking shocking HOW MANY TIMES people have waltzed right into the restaurant either before or after hours, stand in the middle of the place and demand, “Are you open???!!!” Now, you might think, well maybe it is not obvious and why is the door even open then? Ok. Let me set the scene.

This occurred only two nights ago. It was Saturday night. The band had long gone. We had put all the stools up on the tables, wiped everything down, swept the floor, and counted the cash register drawers. I was mopping while my coworker was counting all the tips. Suddenly a man threw open the door and trudged right into the center of my freshly-mopped room. I glared. BTW, the door was open as we also take out all the trash and need to come and go.

WTF? Is what I wanted to roar, but refrained. He started in with what was on the menu, what time we were open in the morning, and the times of the live music. All of this is on the website, twit. He then starts eyeing the bar and wants to know what we have on draft. I am barely hanging on here as he is walking on my mopped floor. We had worked a ten hour shift and I sure as hell was NOT going to mop again. It is only when we did not make a move to serve him that he says, “Are you open?” Are you fucking kidding me? He deserves an EXTRA LARGE SIGN.

And there you have it. The fate of humanity as we know it is up in the air, intellectually speaking that is.