On not being the Founder, not being a beginner, and not being invited to either party.

Jul 05, 2026

The emotional definition of No Man’s Land is a state of limbo where you feel disconnected.

We’ve all been there at different stages of life. High school, when several smaller schools feed into one large one, brings exciting new friendships and new social groups, and some of our early childhood friendships dissolve and fade as we form new identities. College scatters us all over the country and we begin again: new people, new groups, the start of adult transformation, on our own for the first time, seeking out a new tribe. Then comes graduation. Mel Robbins calls this “The Scattering.” We head out to find our new lives, careers, maybe more school. Strange cities, new colleagues, another identity crisis.

This is where I find myself once again, at age 51.

The Slow Fade

Stuck between the old Carrie, the one I thought I’d always be, the stay-at-home mom turned empty-nester, and whoever I’m supposed to be now. I always pictured myself in a bit of a different identity crisis. One where I needed to find a new hobby or maybe go back to school to learn something new. But the Universe simply laughed, and once again asked me to hold her beer. So now I find myself in a No Man’s Land, so to speak, and I’d bet there are more than a few other spouses out there going through the exact same thing.

The disconnect comes from 25 years of raising babies and spending time with my fellow moms. Now my days of doing much of anything other than work during the week are over. And the longer I go without meeting friends for lunch or a walk or whatever they’ve got planned, the further apart we grow. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s just natural.

No more weekday lunches with friends, there simply isn’t time. I can barely get out for my weekly line dancing lesson on Wednesday nights, and that one is non-negotiable. (If you haven’t found a hobby that lights you up like a firework, I highly suggest you find one.) More on that later…

Not that I’d have much to contribute to the lunch conversation anyway. “Anyone here try to get an actual human being at Amazon after your account gets deactivated over a system address error? Or how about your new warehouse manager shipping the wrong product to Nordstrom? No??“ Cue the crickets.

Back to pickleball.

The Bookstore Night

A couple of weeks ago I went to an event where a female entrepreneur was launching her first business book, shout out to Natalie Ellis! Jamie Kern Lima, another female founder I admire, joined her, talking about the book and taking questions. It was at this adorable little bookstore, the room so small and intimate, I felt as if we were all at the dinner table together.

Looking around, I noticed so many women had come alone, just like me. I felt an instant sense of camaraderie.

I sat down next to a woman who wrote for TV, friendly and open, and we fell into easy conversation right away. Every woman in that room seemed to be carrying the same questions I was. The pain, the constant stress, the lack of sleep, maybe even the imposter syndrome, we all had it in common. I was also lucky enough to get a long conversation in with Brooke Shelton (look her up, she ran the AI for Meta) about AI and AEO.

I did not want to leave that night. For the first time in three years, I felt like I’d found my tribe.

Room Full of Almosts

That warm feeling stayed with me for days, so I decided to go find a group to join. A women’s business group where I could feel that same sense of belonging again. Welp. Easier said than done.

I researched every women’s group I could find, even interviewed with one. But they all had the same criteria: I had to be C-suite, or the Founder. Maybe I could argue Co-Founder, but that’s a touchy subject with Ryan given the history. So, not qualified. Add that to the imposter syndrome pile.

There are other groups, but they’re built for the earlier stages of business. And once again I land right in the middle: not quite C-suite, not just starting out. I was thrown into the deep end of a seven-figure business and told to swim. Is there a group for that??

The Club I’m Starting Instead

I’ll keep searching. But honestly, this whole experience just amplifies my desire to build a community for us spouses who got tossed into this crazy entrepreneurial life without a manual.

So if anyone wants to start a club for “not-quite-C-suite, not-quite-beginner, married-into-seven-figure-business-and-thrown-in-the-deep-end” women, sign me up. I’ll even bring the wine.